PLEASE help me out here, I'm very confused. Just how in the hell is it that the greatest team in the history of Major League Baseball, according to seemingly all the pundits, just got their asses handed to them in the FIRST round of the playoffs??????????????????
Correct me if I'm wrong but hasn't it been yours truly for the past three seasons that has been saying that this team is not all that great and simply an incredible fabrication of the media, not unlike Barack Obama? For three solid seasons now every announcer, analyst and commentator has been literally cumming in their pants over this alleged great team, the Tampa Bay Rays. ESPN announcer Rick the Prick Sutcliffe doesn't try to hide his bias one bit and all but has on air orgasms about this piece of shit team.
It's truly been one of the most amazing things I've ever seen in my life how so many people propel this team to heights never surpassed by even the 1927 Yankees, 84 Tigers, 86 Mets, or 98 Yankees. Reality check time, this team has never won a thing. Not jack shit. They totally lucked out two years ago when both the Red Sox and Yankees, the two greatest teams in MLB were rocked with injuries and Tampa actually found themselves in the World Series. True to form though they got the shit kicked out of them by the Phillies.
Still though, the future was bright according to everyone and surely in 2009 the Rays would be the team hoisting the World Series trophy. Ha-ha. They barely finished .500 and the Yankees won World Series trophy number TWENTY SEVEN while these sacks of shit watched from their couches.
But still, all you heard is wait til 2010 and Tampa will rule the world. So when the Rays actually won the AL EAST a couple weeks ago and sent the Yankees to the lowly wild card, the media laid it on even thicker. According to them, this Rays team had it all. The greatest starting pitching ever. The greatest lineup ever. The best bullpen ever. The best infield defense ever. The fastest team ever. The best bench ever. And most importantly the best manager ever.
Don't let the facts get in the way and never mind reality, there was nothing this Tampa Bay team could not do. Not only were they legends in their own minds, they were legends in nearly every one's minds. One small problem, the Tampa Bay Rays are legends that never were.
Thank you GOD and thank you Texas Rangers for sending this bunch of overrated fucking pricks home, right where they belong. You will NOT be missed. Take your little AL East pennant and we'll play for another AL championship and quite possibly another World Series Title. That's what true legends do.
Before the playoffs started Tampa ownership announced it would significantly trim payroll in 2011, which usually means you'll suck. But not so fast according to TBS analysts Ernie Johnson, David Wells, Dennis Eckersley and Cal Ripken. According to these guys, Tampa will lose a lot of starters, including their entire bullpen but will still be good enough to win it all next year.
I shit you not, they all said precisely that. According to them, Tampa also has the greatest minor league team ever and these guys are ready to step in for the so called legends that will be leaving. They won't skip a beat. Hell, I bet if you take a LITTLE LEAGUE team from Tampa and fit them into Rays jerseys they too will instantly become Hall of Fame type players that will be favored to win it all. How utterly ridiculous. Bye bye losers, for you truly are the greatest team ever... allegedly.
And get this. Now the Boston Red Sox, in all their eternal jealousy of the New York Yankees have decided to change their logo. Yes, after having the same logo since their inception, the Red Sox have changed it to show their true desires. You heard and seen it here first folks.
