Sunday, 16 January 2011

I find it sickening

I can put up with Nonsequitur beating people up, causing huge scenes in restaurants and bars when he gets liquored up dwelling on the Titan's Super Bowl loss of more than a decade ago, making death threats against Kurt Warner, burning down people's homes, and maybe even his despicable act of beating young Aussie Lauren to a bloody pulp and his inexcusable act of sending an anthrax laced letter to Miss Melanie and Jody.

But his latest act is one I find utterly horrific and I can not defend his actions any more.  Apparently now Nonsequitur finds starting forest fires funny.  Last night he started a fire in Chickasaw State Forest and torched over 10,000 acres.  Here are a couple of pictures of this retched act by a true maniac.



As the story goes, Non was out trying to shoot deer and missed the target a few times, no doubt due to being drunk off his ass.  This outraged him beyond belief and figured if he couldn't get the beautiful, innocent animals with a gun he'd do it with fire. 

So he went back to his VW Bus and got out some gasoline and a cigarette and you know the rest.  When law enforcement and the Fire Department arrived at the already raging inferno, they saw Nonsequitur sitting on a lawn chair by his van laughing his ass off, flipping the bird with both middle fingers toward the fire.

Department of Forestry Ranger Johnson Pecker said "Mr. Sequitur was shouting repeatedly at the top of his lungs while lobbing the double finger salute, FUCK YOU MOTHER FUCKING DEER!!! HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCHEN COCK SUCKERS"?  It was the most pathetic, maddening and disturbing thing I've ever seen in all my 69 years of forestry service.  If it were up to me, we'd send him to the electric chair tonight".

Well luckily it wasn't up to Ranger Pecker.  Yes, Nonsequitur was arrested after a brief scuffle and is still currently being held without bail but it appears he was not read his Miranda Rights at the time of his arrest and will likely be set free by tomorrow.  Former Mayor  Willie Berenton is once again acting on Non's behalf to free his friend and rumored lover.

After being booked into the Shelby County Jail, Nonsequitur posed for yet another mug shot.  Here it is,



As you know I am not a tree hugger nor an animal rights activist.  Still, I love the beauty of trees and forests and love all animals.  I am finding it almost impossible to defend my friend Nonsequitur any longer.  All I can hope for is that he gets psychological help if he is indeed set free on yet another technicality. 

Susan

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