I am home early today and decided to do an update. In case those of you on the Word Press private blog did not know, I am back in charge of that blog and made a recent post. I also changed the look of it.
I continue to be under Mistress Keena's thumb in every way imaginable. I guess there was a time that I was this strict with Susan so I guess I have it coming but it's hard sometimes.
She controls my every move. I have to ask permission for everything including eating, drinking, going to the bathroom, if I can go to bed, if I can use the phone or computer or just about anything.
I am required to remove my shoes before entering this apartment and can not wear any foot wear at all at any time while inside. I forgot one time and she bent me over her knee and reddened my ass like a lobster.
The most humbling thing she's done and the thing she's done to me that shows my extreme inferiority to her is making me get rid of my beloved Mistress boots. I proudly wore those boots for years. Even the times when I wasn't feeling aggressive or Dommish, if I put those boots on I'd feel like the most powerful Mistress in the world.
Keena knew this and did not ever want me feeling Dommish, especially around her so she made me get rid of them. The thing I'll miss most about them is the wonderful smell I created in them over the years. I'd often wear these boots with no socks and my feet would sweat buckets in them. I loved removing them and taking a gigantic whiff. Sadly, those days and those boots are gone.
Some time ago when I was subbing to Susan and Jen they hid my boots for months and gave me the impression they might have thrown them out. When they finally gave them back to me one day I was so happy.
But I know they are gone for good now. To make it even worse for me, Mistress Keena made me wait until the garbage truck was only three houses down and then made me go out and dump them in the garbage can in my pink Crocs, a sign of my submissiveness. I had tears in my eyes when I put them in the garbage and especially when I saw the truck dump the contents of the garbage can into to trash compacter. I knew they were gone forever, along with my old Mistress ways.
As much as I hated to do it, I knew it was totally necessary to avoid relapsing back to a version of myself that not only Mistress Keena doesn't want, but neither do I. My Mistress days are gone forever and I am truly what I desire to be in every way, a submissive at the hands of a young, cruel, heartless Domme.
Mistress Keena keeps me in line even more than my parents ever did. I'm not allowed to cuss or use racial slurs any more. I can say "pussy" and "ass" referring to my own body parts but I can not say the "T" word. Instead I must refer to them as breasts.
She has me in chastity all the time unless she is either teasing me or cleaning me. Even when on my period, she just inserts a tampon and on goes the belt. I'm not allowed to touch my nipples in any way or even touch or smell my own feet.
There would be no point in smelling my feet anyway because Mistress sprays my feet heavily with antiperspirant every morning and night. It drives me crazy because no matter what, my feet will not sweat at all and only smell like deodorant. It's truly diabolical torment. Naturally my shoes or socks don't smell any more either. I'm also not allowed to touch or sniff any other female's feet except Keena's, so she's all I have but I'm grateful for at least that.
Mistress Keena's feet aren't as pretty, sweaty or smelly as my former girlfriend's feet but when that's all there is, I have to consider them a rare treat. She doesn't allow me access to her feet anything like Susan did. It's rare.
As for my orgasm, your guess is as good as mine. I was so let down when I was teased and locked into a chastity belt on December 31st, just hours before I was scheduled for my long awaited orgasm. My heart sank because I knew there was no way I'd get that orgasm and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it even if I tried. The CB is the one I bought for Susan all those years ago and when I bought it I had one thing in mind. Preventing her from a self induced orgasm no matter what. Now the tables have been turned.
On New Year's Day I did not really know I'd wind up as Keena's sub and gf. I was frustrated and even angry at being locked in the belt and when she was in the shower I tried like hell to get myself off. I even used the Hitachi but there was no way to induce the orgasm I needed and wanted so badly. When the water shut off, I turned off the vibe and hung my head in defeat. Yeah, I know Nonsequitur, you're getting off on this! Fair enough.
Anyway, I'm not complaining. Mistress K is a great Mistress and one I always dreamed of. I won't lie as even she knows this but she wouldn't have been my first choice. I had always hoped Susan would turn into what Keena is or maybe Jen. But it never happened.
Once I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, Susan, Jen, Melanie, Shannon and even Bonita chose not to get rough for me any longer. Even Kirstie and Debra showed little interest. I found it frustrating because though I was 28 when diagnosed, even my Neurologist said I had likely developed the disease in my late teens or early twenties which is very common for MS. I was the same person, just with an official diagnosis but everyone started to treat me like a piece of china even though each of them tortured me harshly when asked before.
But Mistress Keena was the only one who realized my desires and she's smart enough to know that tying me up, tickling me, teasing me and doing annoying things to me isn't going to harm me. Sure, if I'm in a full blown MS attack, she knows not to tie me up in some awkward position but life goes on. Even during an MS exacerbation, which I'm actually having the past few days.
Don't worry about me though, it's just a minor exacerbation. Nothing serious like during the hot summer months. For the past few days, my lips have been a little numb making it hard to pucker for a kiss or to pronounce certain words. Also some minor tingling in my feet and hands but hardly what I'd call a serious attack. I won't even take any Prednisone unless it gets a lot worse which I doubt this time of year.
But nothing changes the fact that I still am craving an orgasm and don't want to have to keep waiting. If you look at my orgasm clock that Nonsequitur installed, I am now at 630 days. Unbelievable. Sure, most of it was by my own choosing but now I want to cum and it's no longer my decision. I know in late April it'll mark two entire years for me and I cringe at the thought that Keena might actually take me that far. I'm hopeful and confident however that will not be the case. Even I never made Susan go two years. I'm desperate and need to cum.
As for the tickling, Mistress Keena is heartless and cruel but with that especially, I know I'm getting a taste of the medicine I dished out for years. I always tickled Susan for as long as I wanted until *I* grew bored with it. I always ignored her desperate pleas. The one time I got to Domme Miss Melanie, I took her hours past her tickle limits which wasn't more than a few minutes. I simply didn't care. I knew it caused no damage such as whipping or clamping. It only created panic and uncontrolled laughter and I didn't stop for anyone until my sadistic hunger was satisfied.
Now, it's me and mainly my poor feet on the other end. Keena has wooden stocks that she locks my bare feet into. Once the device is locked and my hands hand cuffed behind my back she ties my toes back with strings so that my feet are completely exposed and helpless. Then the tickle attack begins and doesn't stop until her sadistic hunger is fulfilled. She's tickled me for over two hours straight like this. Now I know how Susan, Jen, Melanie and others felt. It's pure hell and nothing I say or do can stop it. Not until Keena becomes bored, which takes a long, long time.
Orgasms for Mistress Keena are not rare however. Often she ties me to a chair and makes me watch her use *MY* Hitachi on herself while she cums over and over. She's very multi-orgasmic, which is common a young girl like her. And yes, watching this makes me jealous as hell. It goes without saying that one of her favorite things to do is sit right on my face and make me lick her to an orgasm.
I often let my mind wonder that "what if" game. What if I had stayed a Domme? How many orgasms have I missed out on in these 630 days? My guess is between 1200-2000 as I'd often cum two or three times per day and sometimes even more. I had long orgasms and would often feel the waves for up to 20 seconds. That's 40,000 seconds of orgasms I'll never get back. Ouch. More like *whine*. I'm about to turn 30 and the last time I came I was 28 and had JUST turned 28 a couple months before!
But don't cry for me, especially you ever concerned Nonsequitur, I'm right where I want to be. With absolutely no say so of anything in my entire life. I wrote the script while I was Susan's Domme and now Keena is playing the past perfectly. Woe is me... NOT!
Andrea
Now how about a little female feet, something that is off limits to my ever curious nose. :-<
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