Hello,
I got another round of teasing and denial from the girls tonight that has left me a quivering, horny mess. Even Shannon got in on the act tonight. Naturally when they had finally had enough of teasing me, they locked me back in the chastity belt. Now I can't sleep. Too frustrating.
I was at the neurologists office three times this week, doing ALL kinds of tests. First off, I did a zillion blood tests to rule out other possible causes of my symptoms. I was tested for like 30 different things, most of which I've never heard of. Some things I was tested for that I had heard of were Lupus, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Diabetes, Lyme Disease, ALS, Hunington's Disease, Herepes Simplex Encephalitis, and many others. I tested positive for ANA, so at this point lupus can't be counted out, though many people have positive ANA and no lupus.
Then came all kinds of coordination tests, muscle and strength tests, optical tests, reflexes, sensory and hearing tests, and others. He used one of the spiked rolling wheels we use for our bondage games to test different parts of my body to see how I responded to them. He even lightly tickled the soles of my feet to see if I felt it, which I did. (If he only knew).
The results were mixed. In some tests I passed with flying colors, but others I failed badly. The strength in my hands is very poor, some coordination tests I performed poorly in and also some visual tests. With the physical examination, the symptoms I have described to the doctors, and passing all the other blood tests, the early diagnosis from the Neurologist is "Probable MS". It's not even close to a definite diagnosis yet though.
He said even if my MRI tests show lesions on my brain and my spinal tap shows abnormalities next week that the diagnosis will not be Definite MS just yet. I don't get all the things that go into a definite diagnosis but he says sometimes it could take years for that. I asked him what his gut feeling was and he said 95% that it is MS.
There is good news however. He said that given my sex, age of initial onset of symptoms and the length between the first set of symptoms and second set, that was over two years, that it would in all likelihood be a mild and relapsing form. That means probably no residual disabilities and also that it's possible all symptoms could subside for long periods of time in which I'd feel fine. He said there is no reason not to live my life to it's fullest.
Though the news is bad, I feel relieved to finally have some answers. I knew going in that it was MS and it almost certainly is. MS is very unpredictable in it's course. It's different in every person that has it. This makes my future very unknown but I am optimistic. Sure, it's scary and depressing but life goes on and so will I. I have terrific friends, family and a wonderful girlfriend that will always care for me in Susan. When I get a definite diagnosis I will be able to get drugs to control the disease. Unless of course Osambo gets his health care passed, then all bets are off.
The better news is that I am in a remission right now. This week has seen the symptoms disappear and I am feeling really good. I went for a short jog last night and all went well. It's my belief that I have a mild form of Multiple Sclerosis and I am not going to let it get me down. Yes, there will be times that it does but I'm going to take it day by day, and today I feel fine.
Jen offered to give me my car back but I told her that I have enjoyed being punished all summer and that I can wait until November like she had planned. I miss my car a lot and am humiliated driving the one I'm now driving. It's hotter than hell and slower than shit. I also miss having orgasms more than you'll ever know. For a girl who used to have at least 700 per year, going down to zero in three months is extremely difficult. But my orgasms are not my orgasms right now to have. Nor is my car mine to drive. I serve Susan and Mistress Jen and they deserve the good stuff. With the bad health news, it makes it so much easier to know that my wish to fully explore my submissive fantasies is being full filled. Some day Susan and I will trade places again and I'll revert to my Dommish ways. Maybe even get my black, musty Mistress boots back if Susan hasn't thrown them away. I still don't know for sure if she did but I really hope not. A lot of sweat has gone into those boots over the years and it would be a crime to have lost them.
It also looks like I will lose $500.00. Before the baseball season, Susan and I made a bet that whoever's team finished with a better record would receive the money from the loser. Early in the year my Dodgers were so far ahead of the Yankees, I was encouraging her to pay up already. Even she thought she'd owe me. But the Yankees are the Yankees and though the Dodgers have still played well, the Yanks are playing out of their minds and have the best record in the majors, now a few games better than my Dodgers. But the Dodgers are still better than those pussy Phillies. *sticks tongue out at Joyce Marie*
Some of you have emailed me regarding my health issues and I really appreciate it. Though the diagnosis is more certain now, I still insist on not receiving any sympathy. I have told Susan and Jen the same. I've lived a very sinful life. I cheated on tests all through high school, smoked dope, smoked cigarettes, live in a lesbian relationship, harbor extremely racist feelings, cuss like a sailor, drink alcohol in excess at times, am judgemental, hypocritical, and selfish. I've gone into stores and stolen things, vandalized people's properties, and I used to be mean to Susan's cats. I'm very sorry for these things and have repented from almost all of them but still have demons like everyone does. A few years ago, with the help from Susan, I accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as my personal Saviour. I was baptized and pray to the Lord on a daily basis.
I know in my heart that I am forgiven from my sins by God and will go to haven. "Whosoever calls upon His name shall be saved". But what it doesn't say is that your sins will go unpunished. Since God will not punish me beyond the grave, he does so in the flesh. I truly believe that. I've sewn sour seeds in my life and am now reaping the consequences. It's not something I like but it's something I deserve. Therefore I desire no sympathy. It'll be a challenge at times but I'll live my life to it's fullest.
One of my loves in life is female feet in case you had not noticed. :P Though all feet including my own are off limits most of the time now, I can still dream about them. So let's look at five more sets of female celeb feet right now!!
Andrea
Alexa Rae
Gillian Anderson
Gwyneth Paltrow
Bjork
Robin Tunney
